Paddler Problems: Dear Diary... <3 Paddy

Dear Non-Paddler friend,

I know you are tired of hearing me talk about paddling. If you’ve noticed recently I’m getting much better at holding “normal” conversations with you when we are alone. At least, I like to think I’ve gotten better.

But please know that when other paddlers are around, we’re going to talk about paddling. We’re going to talk about it ALL THE TIME. And if there is any alcohol around, we’re probably going to talk about it REALLY loudly, with lots of hand gestures. This is just part of our nature, and nothing gets in nature’s way.

After all, you have to admit almost all of our paddling stories are super funny and don’t get old. And seriously, most of them are even better the third or fourth time you’ve heard them, because that’s usually when people starting adding really awesome potentially untrue details. It just adds to the flavor!

I know it makes you feel left out – and that makes me sad. So I’ve thought of a great compromise! You should just give in and come paddle with us. Like, tomorrow. Or today! And every weekend. Forever….

<3 Paddy

P.S. – Just a friendly reminder that if you say “rowing and paddling are the same” in front of everyone a second time, I can’t be responsible for your safety


Dear Diary,

A few days ago I threw away my 4th pair of leggings. The sides were completely shredded, as though I had been mauled by a Bengal tiger. On my way back to my car, a homeless lady actually offered me some of her clothing.

 <3, Paddy

Dear Diary,

I went shopping for new office clothes over the weekend.  Nothing fits in the women's section, so I decided to try some men’s shirts on.  I told the cashier they were for my boyfriend.  They aren't.

Tank tops are “office casual” right?

Anyway, here’s hoping shoulder pads come back into style soon!

<3, Paddy

Dear Diary,

Hi, I’m Paddy! I haven’t written to you in a long time – not since my last diary got flung overboard by accident on my outrigger race to Catalina Island.

I hope you don’t meet the same fate! I like to think my old diary is relaxing with my old sunglasses and hats that were also sacrificed to the sea. Maybe some fish are reading my old entries and making grand tales of my adventures.

Anyway, I’m in the middle of another racing season and it has been amazing! Except a couple things….

I keep getting compliments on my toned, sexy back and arms – but no one at work seems to understand the unique struggles of muscular shoulders.

I threw away another shirt last week after the armpits of it started cutting off circulation to my biceps.  I hadn't worn the blouse since Christmas - I didn't realize how big my shoulders had grown since I started paddling again. I literally heard seams pop when I pulled it over my head.

<3, Paddy

Team Writer Megs Phillips - Raised a Cali beach bum, playing in the sand and surf before she could talk, Megs has enjoyed white water rafting, dappled with OC1's, SUPs, and kayaks, and is a deep lover of all things ocean, river, rapids, and lake related. In 2010 she discovered outrigger canoeing and was instantly hooked; paddling with Ka Nai'a Outrigger in Santa Barbara. Her contributions to Cali Paddler are much appreciated!

Should you have an idea or topic for her, feel free to send it our way and we will pass it along! In addition to following her here at Cali Paddler, we encourage you to visit her personal blog: Paddler Problems, where you can enjoy more of her fun writings and comics.

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  • Leah - September 01, 2015

    Add a necklace over the tank top, it will totally dress it up!

  • Leslie - July 22, 2015

    Hey Paddy,
    I know EXACTLY how you feel! I was born with wider shoulders than my hips! I feel sorry for my mom… BUT, I know what it’s like. When I first started working out, I noticed that I would ‘bulk’ up quickly, not intending for this type of outcome. Don’t want you to feel alone! I’m right there with you.

    PS – I do a tank top and a very loose cover-up sweater/cardigan piece over top… So it looks like I put in ‘some’ effort. :)

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